Category — Guest Authors

Every year at Christmas time, I love watching renditions of my favorite Christmas story, A Christmas Carol. Whether I read the book, watch it on television, or see it in a local theatre, I am always reminded of the most important thing I have in my life: Relationships.

You Need People
I would hope if you’re reading this, you’re also familiar with the Charles Dickens classic story. And I would hope that by watching the pitiful Ebenezer Scrooge this season – surrounded by piles of money, yet so bitter and unhappy – you would realize the thing humans need most to be happy in life is not wrapped under your Christmas tree. For it doesn’t matter how much wealth a person has accumulated if they have no friends or family to share life’s experiences with.

For that reason alone, it is imperative you become an expert at managing relationships. You must learn how to surround yourself with an inner circle of good friends who will build you up and support you. In your business life, you must surround yourself with colleagues and partners you can rely on, especially in tough times.

People Need You
More importantly, you must remember that sometimes people need you too. There are two sides to every relationship. Often times we become really good at taking from others, but we forget to give back. Even worse, sometimes we forget about those who have no one else to turn to, especially during the busy holiday season.

When I was in college, I worked full time at a large department store that was open until the last minute possible on Christmas Eve. They then reopened as early as possible on the day after Christmas. Because I needed the money for college, I would always rush home late at night Christmas Eve to celebrate with my family. Then, before Christmas Day was over, I would rush back to my apartment cities away from my family to get ready for my 5:00 a.m. shift.

For that reason, I used to tell my family we could never go out to eat at a restaurant on Christmas Day. I never wanted to be the reason someone else had to be away from their family. My mom reminded me that for some people who no longer have a family, a restaurant provides the only interaction with another human being they get on Christmas Day. In a small way, those people who are less fortunate than I to have a loving supportive home to go to, find their Christmas miracle in the workers at the restaurant.

That lesson my mom taught me years ago remains in my heart each holiday season. When I see someone bitter over Christmas, I rethink why. Perhaps they don’t have a family to go home to. Perhaps this time of year reminds them of sadness. Perhaps they’ve never learned to build the relationships needed to truly understand the joys of Christmas. Perhaps they really don’t understand the spirit of the season.

And I take it upon myself to try and figure out how to spread a little extra Christmas joy their way. What about you? Is there someone you know this week that needs the love and support of a friend? It’s not too late to share the spirit of Christmas with them.

[Ed. Note: Want more relationship tips? Check out the new Living Every Minute program. Share your thoughts about this topic below.]

A few nights ago I was driving home from Longview, Texas to Shreveport, Louisiana. The 2.5 hour drive that night was like any other: dark, overcast, and heavy traffic.

An All Too Repeated Scene
Christmas songs and advertisements were playing on the radio as I neared the intersection of Loop 281 and Interstate 20. As I approached the first red light, I noticed a large black plastic garbage bag in the median near a light pole. It was dark and difficult to make it out at first, but as I sat at the red light I saw it was covering a person. The man appeared to be sitting on his bottom with his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. He was holding a large Sonic drink cup that was leaning away from him at about a 45 degree angle. The brim of a dirty baseball cap was protruding just above his face.

The week before I had approached this same red light and a tall, thin homeless man was standing in this same spot with a sign that read, “Homeless please help.” I had a plastic bag in my storage area that held my change. It totaled about $20. While sitting at the light, I noticed no one was giving him the time of day.

An Erie Flashback
I had spent part of my senior year of high school homeless, living in my 1968 rust colored Mustang. It had two seats and a stick shift. I slept with my legs in the driver’s seat, my torso snaked between the seat back and the gear shift, and my shoulders lying on the back seat. At 6’4” tall, it was most uncomfortable. It was also winter and cold.

I went to school all day and worked all night at the local truck stop. I went for days without eating. I went weeks without having clean clothes. Because of my situation, I was sick most of the time. Worse yet, I was labeled a drug head or a drunkard by many people that saw me sleeping in my car, even though I did not drink or do drugs of any kind.

Living in the car was not that difficult. At least I had a roof over my head and a means to travel. What was hard to comprehend was that no one who saw me sleeping in my car ever tried to help me. I was young, alone, hungry, scared, cold and had no thoughts of a bright future.

I was also a straight-A student, a pretty good football player, a good citizen, a hard worker and despite my living arrangements, I managed to obtain a scholastic scholarship to attend a major university.

Making a Change
When the homeless man approached my car a few weeks ago, I held out the plastic bag of money I had. He took it and said, “God bless you brother.” He then returned to his post. He had no idea the man driving a brand new car, dressed in nice clothes, with a full stomach, a good career, and clean shave, had once been a homeless person just like him.

I sat there thinking of the man until a man behind me in his new car honked angrily at me to go. I looked up, and the red light had turned to green. I moved on.

Too Busy to Notice
As I sat in the car a few nights ago at the stop light studying the man covered in a black garbage bag, I couldn’t help but think he was asleep. He wasn’t moving at all, and it was so cold. I assumed the position he was sleeping in was probably best for keeping warm in the absence of a home or blanket. The thought crossed my mind to give him the two thin coats I had with me, but the light turned green and another person was behind me cursing and honking for me to move. That person was too busy to notice what I was witnessing.

I drove the 70 miles to home in my warm car, listening to Christmas music. The image of the man hunched over in the cold with only a garbage bag to shield him from the night stayed burned on my mind. I thought back to the days when I was in a similar situation and almost cried. That time made me a much stronger person, but it was not something I would wish on anyone.

The next morning I woke up to 29 degrees outside. I thought of the homeless man again. I vowed to stop and do something for him if he was still there when I arrived. All the way to work I thought of what I could do for him: buy him a hotel room for the night, feed him a meal, or take him to the store to buy him some new clothes and a nice, thick, warm coat to wear.

As I approached the exit and slowed down near the light it was bright daytime. I could see the man in almost the same position near the light pole. As I moved closer I could tell he had fallen over on his right side. Several thoughts raced through my mind: Was he dead? Did he freeze? Was he just sleeping?

The glorious light of day revealed the truth. The man was not a man at all. It was simply a large bag of garbage. The darkness of night had fooled my eyes into seeing a human form. The cup that was leaning out was on the grass, and the dirty baseball cap was there just sticking out of the edge of the bag.

I smiled to myself feeling a bit silly. Then I wondered how many other people had thought that the bag was a homeless man? What did they think or do about it?

Or, was this mirage meant just for me? Was it to remind me of where I’d come from and where I am now? Have I become so comfortable with my life that I have forgotten those that have not been so fortunate? What about you?

Christmas is coming – what can you do to show others the true spirit of the season?

[Ed. Note: DeWayne Bricker's first book,Yes He Can, is available for purchase as an ebook. Share your thoughts on this week's article with other readers below.]

The fourth Thursday in November has come to symbolize a lot about the American culture. Thanksgiving is a tradition that includes family, lots of delicious food, and of course, football. All three are great, the last two even better when done in moderation.

Ironically, this week I received an e-mail from someone asking, “Why do you think so many people are willing to put up the money to go to a sporting event, root for a certain team or player (which has no direct benefit to them), yet when it comes to putting up the money to better their life by investing in self-improvement items, they avoid it?”

What a good question to ponder on Thanksgiving Day. I do know a lot of people who will eagerly spend $100 for a ticket to a football game, but they become squeamish at the thought of spending $50 for an audio book that could change their life. And the words “football game” could easily be replaced with “opera”, “night on the town”, “movie” or any other entertaining activity. I use football only because it goes along so well with the holiday we are celebrating today.

Simple Answer

The answer to the question is really an easy one. We have grown up in a consumer-driven economy that encourages us to buy, buy, buy. In order for that to happen, we have to have a need that buying meets. The need it meets is instant gratification, and we have become a society focused on meeting that one need.

Unfortunately, instant gratification is not always the best solution for us in the long term. Don’t get me wrong. I love taking weekend trips, splurging on going out to eat more than I should, and yes, I even like to attend an occasional sporting event. Having fun is an important part of living every minute. Unfortunately, it’s the easy part.

Immediate Gratitude vs. Lifelong Success
The hard part to living every minute is planning for the future, and living into the plan, even when it means turning down things in the now.

For example, it is very easy to say, “My goal is to save $5,000 this year, and in order to accomplish that, I am going to put back $200 from each paycheck.”

The hard part comes when your team makes it to the Super Bowl, and you just have to have the $50 “Championship Sweatshirt” to celebrate the win. You convince yourself that putting back only $150 this month, instead of the full $200, won’t hurt your savings too bad. And then you get even better news. Your friends are caravanning to the Championship Parade. For about $200, you can tag along too and have a good time. So you convince yourself to borrow $50 from last month’s savings and not put any back this month. Before you know it, you’ve reached the end of the year, and you have not reached your $5,000 goal.

Immediate gratification has caused many people to fall into the rut of living in the now with no plan for the future. While it is great to create memories, remember that for each memory created, another memory may be lost.

Build Your Future
Going back to the original question, people are more likely to spend money on sporting events instead of self-help seminars, because sporting events are more accepted in our society. Everyone knows what you mean when you say, “I’m going to see the Dallas Cowboys play.” They may not know what you mean when you say, “I bought my tickets to Craig Duswalt’s Rockstar System for Success seminar.”

While both events will create memories, one event will have a lot longer lasting impact. Sure, watching the Cowboys in their new stadium is a unique adventure, and you might get lucky enough to sit next to someone who can help you on a business venture. But attending a self-help seminar will introduce you to a room of people all interested in improving their lives and businesses. More importantly, all willing to share their knowledge and help you grow too.

Everyone on the team at Living Every Minute attends at least two self-help seminars a year, in addition to reading at least two books a month to increase our knowledge.

Gift Ideas
Tomorrow starts another great American Tradition with the official kick-off to the Christmas shopping season. This Christmas, consider giving those you love gifts that will help them improve their lives.

Some of the gifts that we recommend include:
Living Every Minute: Design the Life You Deserve
by Tim Reynolds (Activity Book & DVD Series)

The Traveler’s Gift
by Andy Andrews (book)

The Art of Exceptional Living
by Jim Rohn (Audio CD)

Craig Duswalt’s Rock Star System for Success Seminar
Next Conference, March 2010

LifeSkills Leadership from the Heart Seminar
Next Conference, December 2010

Now, get off the computer and go spend time with your family. Happy Thanksgiving from the entire staff at Living Every Minute!

[Ed. Note: For an extended list of suggested books, or for additional seminar resources, please visit our website.]